the colorful regulars of laugardalslaug

On many days after work, E and I go to the largest Reykjavík swimming pool, Laugardalslaug, or washing-valley-pool. (I sometimes refer to this as the "daily driver" of Reykjavík pools.) This pool is popular with tourists in the summer (such as the infamous American mother-daughter combo talking loudly about "going into Rake-javv-ick" the next day, not realizing they were already there) but in the colder months we have the place all to ourselves. Well, us and the Regulars. Here is just a partial listing of the characters that make the daily-driver experience what it is:

Steven Seagal: one of the men's locker room attendants, he has a Seagal-esque ponytail and one time fetched me a towel when mine was stolen by several members of an unruly visiting swim team. So he's a nice guy. But I think, if called to it, he could kick some serious ass. Maybe even pull off a floor-mop beating or two.

High School Principal Man: a hot tub regular, so called because to me he looks like he was once a high school principal. He just has the look. But now he spends his days soaking up the steam and talking to his cronies out in massaging hot pot #2.

Iceland shield guy: this German guy was a competitor in Iceland Idol, and is also a sometimes-Regulah at the Daily Drivah. The thing about him is that he has the entire Icelandic coat of arms tatooed on his chest. In full color. No joke. I envy that level of commitment to the Land, or really to anything.

Steve Martin: another of the men's locker room crew, he has a head of silver hair and back before the new locks were installed was a diligent token-emptier in the vast forest of lockers. I keep expecting him to say, "Half double decaf half-calf, with a twist of lemon." But mostly he just mops.

not-only-a-desk-lady, also-a-client-lady: she works the main desk, always looking elegant as she checks ID and says "góðan daginn" with a matronly hint of recognition. But then sometimes just minutes later, she'll be seen, elegant as ever, sitting at the edge of the family hot tub with her hair still impeccably coiffed. I'm glad she believes enough in the pool to want to visit it after she's worked an entire desk shift.

Quasimodo: the dark-haired evil genius of the men's locker room staff. He's always hunched over a mop, or leaning on one, growling at one of his old-man customer buddies. One time he yelled at me when I had to go back into the locker area to help a visiting friend close his locker, because I was wet from the shower. So I try to avoid him now, evil genius that he is.

humping-the-nuddpottur-guy: perhaps the single most dishturbing human being north of Newfoundland, this guy is seen thankfully only sporadically. He's got stringy hair and a beard and gut and wears strange bathing suits, something like 1980s "jams" that were once colorful, but now retain only faded glory. When he's in the nuddpottur (massaging hot tub) he's often standing on the seat backwards with his body facing one of the water jets, holding onto the safety fence bars with both hands and humping up and down, in what is usually an all-out hot-tub-clearing maneuver. One time I saw him in the showers afterward, sitting on the floor of a shower stall, legs in the lotus position, water pouring down on his stringy head.

"gaman að sjá þig!": The quintessential regular, and the one who always brings a smile to my face, this is one smiley and cheerful character. He looks young, younger than me at least, and his face is always full of happiness and surprise. Since he is there so much, he recognizes almost everyone, and greets them with, "Gaman að sjá þig og takk fyrir síðast!" ("Great to see you and thanks for last time!") He's always trying to rope other regulars (usually old men) into long conversations in the locker room or the hot tubs. He seems to spend hours at the pool: once I saw him on his way out as I was coming in and when I was done with swim, steaming, and soaking over an hour later, he was still showering and drying off, chatting up a storm with anyone around him, and sometimes nobody is around him. But his cheerfulness is contagious.

bluebeard guy and his girlfriend: they're always swimming laps and then talking American English together in the hot tubs. Sometimes when they want to talk about some other Americans they'll switch to Icelandic. He seems to like the nuddpottur, and she the steam room, so sometimes they split up. Oh wait, that's me and E. I guess we're Regulars, too. At least High School Principal Man thinks so. He always nods a "hello" at me on his way out of the steam room.